


Everyone Likes Cacti, Right? - Or How Tony Stark Rebuilt His Family With The Help of His Science Bro

by Andromalius



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: And people being reasonable, And really weird prompts, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bucky may rescue a puppy from being kidnapped, But not bashing team Cap, F/F, F/M, Family Feels, I just don't agree with them, Let's see how we go, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Science Bros, Science Family, Sort of a fix-it, Steve will be sassy af, Team Tony Stark, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Wanda will get a redemption arc that doesn't treat her like a child thanks MCU, and a bit more, idk yet, pro-tony, with puppies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-10-27 20:01:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10815729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andromalius/pseuds/Andromalius
Summary: Tony's recuperating from Siberia, most of the Avengers are hunted fugitives - what world has Bruce Banner returned to, who is this Spider Kid who keeps hanging around, and why is  he giving Tony cacti? A story about building a science family, mending bridges and building new ones mostly built off prompts from Tumblr. Will be slightly AU.





	1. Prompt: I've always loved cacti. & I can't believe you said that!!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Apologies to those awaiting the update of the elevator story! I'M SORRY! i hope to update it eventually but I've been struggling with my mental health lately so I'm just taking whatever creativity I can get honestly. :) I'm sorry about the wait darlings!!

Bruce tugged on the sleeves of the white jacket uneasily, keeping his head low as he navigated through the massive hospital looking for whatever white sterile room Tony had been hidden away in. There wasn’t anyone to help him this time. No Avengers to light his way home - he smiled mirthlessly at the thought. Had he been so blinded by the novelty of their acceptance of both sides of him that he had allowed such fantastic hyperbole even in his own thoughts?

A phrase from a long time ago, from a neighbour’s television set as she babysat him - “whitewashed tombs”. That was what this was. This was digging under the pristine exterior and finding nothing but rot and worms and death.

No Pepper to offer advice except a sharp and grim ‘you stayed away too long, doctor.’ Nothing from the Colonel except a tired glare. Nothing from -

Nothing from JARVIS.

Just Friday, sending him coordinates as best she could. Just Bruce who was invisible in a white jacket. Just his rage and his fear and TONYTONYTONY why Tony why now why him why like this what had happened.

He turned a corner and found a door open and heard Tony’s voice, breathless and a little sharp with pain.

“I’ve always liked cacti. Green. Prickly. Resilient. Doesn’t matter when I forget to water them. Hey Peter, open the door for my friend, would you?”

“Sure, Mr Stark!” A far too eager young voice, a too too young voice and the door was swinging open wider and Bruce realised that he was expected perhaps after all and he didn’t know what he was going to say.

But this once he didn’t run.

‘Peter’ was so young that it almost hurt. As young as the ideals of friendship he’d thought would survive because they were forged in battle instead of realising they were little more than schoolyard ties and would melt given space or pressure. As young as he and Tony and Natasha had never been. As young as Client’s family. As young as Friday and Vision and the scars on Johannesburg and Sokovia and Lagos.

Bruce looked at him because it was easier than looking at Tony and seeing what had happened to him. Vision had been vague about the matter, vague and distant, distracted almost as though deeply wounded in a way they could not yet comprehend.

Peter looked back, squirmed, seemed to physically bite his tongue, squirmed again, and blurted, “I’m gonna get you some coffee, Mr Stark, okay? I’ll be right back I swear.”

He left with a certain inhuman speed and Bruce catalogued it at the back of his mind as a tick next to the series of questions surrounding his presence at Tony’s bedside.

“Hey, Big Green, aren’t you meant to be hiding out off planet? Haven’t we had this discussion seven times? Haven’t we agreed you aren’t safe here? We have. I’m sure we have. I know I didn’t imagine it. I know I didn’t make up the list of 239 reasons why you are safer NOT HERE.” Tony drew his gaze like the magnet he always was, tone pointed and sharp and a little relieved beyond that. “Why are you messing with the plan, Brucie-Bear?”

“Hi Tony,” he said, and sat on the chair beside the bed and looked. It was bad, then. Tony’s face was smashed, his eyes nearly shut, a tube down his nose and bandages around his torso. Even after New York and the wormhole, Tony hadn’t been like this. Not this cold. Not this pale. Not this - “Doesn’t sound like anyone is safe back here. Who is the child?”

“An intern,” Tony said too promptly. He was relieved not to be grilled on current affairs, that was obvious, and Bruce had time. Bruce would make sure they all had time. He could feel the dark primal rage of the Hulk growling approval - Hulk had always liked the Tin Man after all. “You’d like him. He’s clever and awkward and kind of like how I imagine a puppy would be if I’d ever had a puppy.”

“He’s the Spider boy, isn’t he?”

“SHHHT!” Tony grinned lopsidedly and made and show of glancing dramatically around the room. “Ix-nay on the Ider-spay! ”

Bruce grinned back and prodded a leg gently. “Pig Latin? Really? Why not just Latin?”

“I’ve had enough of people looking at me as though I’m speaking a foreign language, shall we say?”

There was a pause, long enough for Bruce to count the ways they had lost themselves.

“Did he get injured?”

“Of course he did, they weren’t pulling their punches.” But the answer hurt, and Bruce could see that and poked the leg again.

“He does the vigilante stuff himself, Tony. You didn’t exactly bring him into this out of obscurity.”

“That doesn’t -”

“Mr Stark! You told him??” It was the exclamation of a betrayed teenager, and Bruce watched with raised eyebrows as Spiderboy Peter stormed in with coffee cups galore and stood at the foot of the bed with arms akimbo - or at least as akimbo as they could be with all that coffee. “You promised!”

“Whoa, kid, he guessed! You can’t hold me responsible for the workings of Bruce’s lovely brain -” Tony blew him a kiss and Bruce nodded gracefully and accepted it as his dues. “He’s a genius. You’ll like him. Take a breath.”

Spiderboy Peter took a long shaky breath and then turned enormous sad - oh god they were like a puppy’s - eyes on Bruce himself. “Is it that obvious?”

“Not to a casual observer. You’re the same height, you move a fraction more quickly than expected and Tony would rather kiss Justin Hammer on the lips than have an intern in his hospital room no matter how fond of them he is.”

That got a quick smile and a disgusted ‘BRUCE! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD SAY THAT HOW COULD YOU!’ from Tony and a laugh out of the Spiderkid and Bruce felt a little loosening of the knot in his chest. Maybe there were some things that hadn’t been completely ruined yet.


	2. Prompt: Whoa Dude - Look At That!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the friendly neighborhood Spiderman is a little bit freaked out.

**A/N - Heya folks. So to address the other fic I'm not updating right now (Fool Reversed) if you're here to check in on that - my dudes I am so sorry. I've got shite mental health at the moment and I'm really taking what I can get writing-wise. :/ I don't consider it a dead fic but I can't be sure when I'll do the final updates and I'm really sorry. To those of you here for this late update - hi! Again - mental health sucks but I love writing so I hope you enjoy! :D**

 

Oh man why had he done that?? Peter’s face was still burning as he hurried back towards Aunt May’s, gripping the bag of cookies he’d accidentally on purpose forgotten to give to Mr Stark. The man was in intensive care, he didn’t need avocado chocolate chip cookies on top of that. Cacti? Why cacti? Was there an appropriate ‘I’m sorry I was totally incompetent when you took me to Germany to help your international superhero team’ gift? A ‘I’m sorry I didn’t stop the people who shot your best friend out of the sky’ gift? Even maybe a ‘I’m sorry I didn’t stick Captain America (CAPTAIN AMERICA) better with my webbing when he came after us but I didn’t take SUPER SOLDIER STRENGTH INTO ACCOUNT WHEN I MADE IT MR STARK SIR I AM SO SORRY YOU GOT HURT’ gift perhaps???

And then Mr stark had been so cool about it and had refused every apology and had even apologised to him and made him laugh and seemed really keen on the cacti and even introduced him to one of his friends who weren’t trying to kill them and Peter had gone and made a hash of that too and accused Mr Stark Iron Man Call Me Tony Kid of betraying his trust!

He was never going to be invited back to do ‘grown up’ superhero stuff again.

Peter carefully disposed of the cookies (were they – moulting? Wouldn’t that be the cherry on top of the cake if he had to one day defend the city from his Aunt’s home baking??) and slipped into the house, heading for his room at a speed that was probably nearer the ‘1.13% quicker than normal human reflexes are wont to be’ like Mr Stark’s friend Bruce had said.

“Peter?”

“Yes Aunt May?” He paused on the landing, keeping his tone light because if he did that then she might not want to ask questions and he might get away with burying himself in total abject embarrassment in his room like a normal 15-year-old for once.

“How is Mr Stark, honey?”

“He’s – not great, Aunt May. He liked the cacti and said thanks for the cookies. I’m gonna do my homework, okay?”

She stepped out of the kitchen and looked up the stairs at him, a small frown on her forehead. “Oh Peter, that bad?”

“I – he’s gonna get better he said, but –“

“But?”

“It – it’s wrong that it happened to him.” Whatever had happened. All Peter knew was that Mr Vision The Vision had said that ‘Mr Stark is recuperating from a combat in Siberia’ and why had he been in Siberia and why had Captain America not helped him? Wasn’t that the point of fighting the accords? To be able to help? Then why not Mr Tony? “I wanted to help.”

“I know.” She beckoned and he went to her because she was still home and mother-love and everything that he had always wanted as a child. “What else, dude?”

“Dude? Aunt May –“

“Dude. What’s up? What’s happening. What’s – ‘the hap’?” She made honest-to-god airquotes and he had to laugh. “What’s your beef?”  
   
“Aunt May please stop.”

“I’ll stop when you tell me why the long face. Dude. Dude with the longest face in the world. Whoa, dude. Look at that! It’s Peter Parker with such a long face that horses are jealous!” Aunt May gave him a firm squeeze, and ruffled his hair. “Well? Is this about Germany?”

“G-germany?” Peter felt his stomach roll into a tiny ball and drop to his feet. “Wh-what about Germany?”

“Peter. I may be older than you but I’m not senile. Mr Stark thinks I’m a ‘hot aunt’,” (there were the airquotes again). “Do you think I’ve not noticed that you seem to be out a lot more recently? That you always seem to be sore or stiff or hurt? That this all started when a certain unnamed vigilante started working in the city? That you disappeared with Mr Stark about the same time Iron Man and Spiderman showed up in Germany and you came back injured in the same way I’d have expected him to be? Or that you look ridiculously guilty every time I tell you how happy I am that you’ve got a more active social life and have made all these friends you’re always hanging out with?”

Oh shit. Peter gulped and shook his head.

“Exactly. So I’ve got a pot of tea on, you’re going to come sit down and tell me all about it.” Aunt May’s smile hardened a little, like steel. “Aren’t you.”

“Yes ma’am.” He should definitely have stayed out to make sure those cookies wouldn’t take over Queens, Peter thought as he followed his aunt glumly to the living room. Even chocolate avocado would have been better than this.


End file.
